"This month's opening of machine music, techno-hating, needlessly antagonistic dance club CON ♦ VULS saw the very likely ill-conceived venture debut in a small dark basement in Soho...
...The walls were damp, the lights too low, the smoke machine too enthusiastic and the dancing, well, the only the only adjective I can think of is... 'epileptic'...
...Sonically, it was like being sexually assaulted by a group of poorly constructed robots filled with real human organs; and it was W O N D E R F U L ...
...The music was chiefly electronic and percussive in nature, its rhythms often as irregular as they were regular, together with at least 45 minutes of what sounded like a cutlery draw thrown down a flight of stairs...
...I was left with a question: Ill-considered if vain attempt at innovation, or sub-cultural nadir?
...Against all advice the venture looks set to continue next month; against my better judgement, I may return."
