Ms. Lonelyhearts' Advice for All Occasions

You're all alone -- are you lonely or are you free? It's hard to do the right thing -- are you going to bail or stick around and be a hero? I'm giving you options here, so pay attention; these opportunities don't come every day. You know the saying: You’re nobody til somebody loves you - just another way of saying that it’s easier to believe in your own worth when it’s validated for you by another, and the form of validation we most desire is to be loved, the ultimate seal of approval.

So when I field a set of songs about the loneliness that precedes finding your own love, especially when that set concludes with the incomparable Mary J. Blige stating her fundamental truth about the necessity of accepting love from another, trust me when I say I understand. To tweak a famous Eartha Kitt comment, I've been loved and I've been lonely, and being loved is better -- though sometimes only having been lonely can make you truly appreciate it.